Feelings for a new guy :-)
Cavewoman wrote :
Dr Love,
cavewoman met a guy. Don't know him well enough. But 'feeling' indicate that can spend more effort knowing him. Problem is there is no close friends to help ....aiiii. If guys said they need signals,signs from woman to hint them ...then this Cavewoman had tried Sms-ed him, had emailed him ....but sometimes cavewoman only received his sms-es after 1 or 2 days, emails so far no reply. So, this is clear sign that it is a NO GO hor ?
Doctor Love replied :
Dear all, Gong Xi Fa Cai, after a long hiatus I am back with some fans eh! Anyway glad to hear again from my fans.
Dear Cavewoman,
Good to hear you met a guy you think you are interested in. OK, whatever it is dump away all the bad conservative advices! Women should make the first move and I will tell you why. Studies found that women are Pursuer, while men (most of them) are Distancer. By not getting frequent SMS from this guy does not mean it's the end. What you can do is to initiate first. Also, you need to understand a behavior of a Distancer. Usually distancer, does not like to be overwhelmed with calls and love messages. Simply because Distancer does not want to lose their FREEDOM.
Take it slow, make the Distancer feel SAFE. Safe that he can open up to you. Getting friends help may work but only if Distancer knows them well, else Distancer will get disconnected very fast. You need to sense when to Connect (call or SMS) or Disconnect (give him space). Remember don't overwhelm him, he needs time. I am assuming your friend as a Distancer here.
Anyway, keep me update with your progress eh! Good Luck.
posted by Kiasu-Ching @ 10:00 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Dr Love, cavewoman didn't overwhelmed him. Plenty of spaces - I only sent him general information eg his hobby related thing,and hint if we could go together. There is no lovey dovey smses or emails yet - though I wish I could proceed with that steps :( . Here I am, trying to get him to ask me out for a date only .......My challenge is 'How to Get a Man to Date Me ?' :(
Cavewoman
That's easy, pick up a phone and ask like "I like to thank you for showing me around while we are in US, I like to take you out for a coffee!" Use confidence, don't ask for permission, instead show some class.
Try something small first, dinner may be overwhelming. At coffee date, don't ask too much personal questions or your dilemma or your life which are sucks!
Try something light ok!
Cavewoman.. this is a tough question. If the man is a Distancer as Doktor said, then you have to be patient lor. I mean, don't 'harap' or hope that something will happen. Just played it cool. You can sms him and hint but if he doesn't respond, then take it easy. If he respond, take it easy also because it may not mean anything. Who knows, maybe you two may go out for coffee and somehow you managed to "electricute" him and he asked you out a few more times. Then it will be like "sau tak wan hoi, gin yuet men" (roughly translated as "wait until the clouds part, then you will see the pretty moon")
Wow ! 'sau tak wan hoi, gin yuet men' - good eh. Dr Love & R, thanks for the tips. It's never easy when it comes to this topic. Stay tuned - Cavewoman got a call from him 2 nights ago ...unfortunately, i was really really busy to take his call ( serious, not trying to jual mahal). Of coz,I will play cool and classy too :)
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