I am a Spinster. I kept Rejecting guys!
Anonymous wrote :
Dr Love ,
My question - will I be a spinster ?
I struggled a lot saying No to guys. I always think that I get BALASAN for doing so. I am a true believer of what I did good or bad - those will come back to me in any way or any form...... You see, I am lost. really lost. I takut to hurt people heart, so if I think the guy is not someone who can be my BF, I just find ways to reject , reason - so that he is clear mah. Then after I do that - sometimes, I do ask myself - did I turn away the man in my life loh ? kan troublesome ..... say Yes or No pun susah .....Then, to say no one interested in me - salah, there are some - but I don't open hearts - everyone kept marah I that I don't give both parties a chance - I got a lot of marah from friends for behaving this way. But But - Dr Love - I just can't loh. I don't know, I am trying to use the word 'Chemistry' but reluctant also - sebab when I find a new friend whom I may want to know him better, he pula seven early lapan early said 'no chemistry' - padan muka to me kan .....
You tell me frankly, Do I carry the Spinster ingredients ? hahahahahaha
Dr. Love replied :
Miss Anonymous, I have to struggle a bit with your email. I think it has a combination of English, Bahasa Malaysia and Cantonese :) Nevertheless it was still fun to read.
Alright girl, what you did has nothing to do if you are really a Spinster. Nobody knows exactly what you want but YOURSELF! Follow your heart when you first meet the guy. Human are very strange, we first get attracted with physical, and then inner beauty of the person. If physical is not your no. 1 criteria, don't rule out the guy easily. Have a few chat on the phone and see if both of you can carry a DECENT conversation (Communication is the key). If not, MOVE ON but keep them as Friends :)
The same thing applies when you are fond of someone, but other people get to choose what they want too. That is why we call it a MATCH. I know it is a frustrating process to find a match, but if you can wait and not desperate, just stay relax. Show some class lah!
So don't call yourself a Spinster, it's just not the right time. Next time, go and socialise, do things you usually do. The right match will show up when you are not EXPECTING :)
posted by Kiasu-Ching @ 8:25 AM
6 comments
6 Comments:
well said :) I m trying hard to keep the 3 Cs - Communication, Comfortable and Compatible - Desperato won't help much ...
I get jealous when Doktor Love has more readers and comments than my own blog... GRRR!
Doktor, with your blog getting more popular and with more comments, I think you needed the "RECENT COMMENT" column, like the one in my blog. It's very easy to set up. Instructions can be found here:
http://bloggerhacks.blogspot.com/2004/09/farrago-recent-comments-hack-103.html
This will allow your reader to see what is the recent comment and by who and in which article. It's really cool.
I may be jealous, but I am also generous :P :P
Perhaps watch out for the signals you sent to other parties. Guys only make a move if they see encouragement.
I think you're the one that is worried bout getting heartbroken when you accept someone. It's like, the "you can't be real" feeling conquered you, therefore, stopping you to give it a shot. I did meet someone, who always say "no chemistry", never paktor before because, the guys that go after her, are always either NOT her type (from outlook, looks too Ah Beng) or NO CMEHISTRY. Problem is, she doesn't know she herself looks like Ah Lian. Well, this girl, the calendar days doesn't have her number anymore, so, as a fren, I don't even know what to say to her already. IT's ALL in yourself, if you want to be single or join the marriage group. BTW, she doesn't have much self confidence at all.
Hi Doktor,
I was having a conversation with one of my girl friends and she said she's worried that she will become a spinster. She's not so much worried about being alone but having those weird spinster-like behaviours - you know, how people used to say that single old woman are a bit psychotic or emotionally unstable or nasty.
I am not sure if you are also a medical doctor by profession. My question is how can a single woman prevent herself from becoming psychotic as she grows older?
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