To Love or To Be Loved?
MGA wrote :
Doktor Cinta...
When I was in school, one of the most debated questions that we asked each other is if it better to love your partner is it better to be loved?
Some of my friends marry because the guy loves them a lot even though they don't love the man as much. Is this a healthy relationship in the long run?
Dr Love replied :
Hello MGA how are you doing there? Thanks for your interesting question. I am constantly in battle with the same question ;-)
If given the choice, Dr Love will choose (Step 1)'better to love your partner'. I guess the main reason is I will be truthful to myself. I express my feelings and thoughts to my partner. I will be happier and has nothing to hide from my partner. Hence, no REGRET and REMORSE if the relationship does not head to the direction I wanted to.
If you are being loved, then GOOD ON YOU eh! And of course, you should welcome it only if you MEAN it and you should RETURN your love to your partner (repeat Step 1 above)!
I would not choose 'to be loved' because of CONVENIENCE! It should take 2 to TANGO! Else, will you be HAPPY in long term? I may able to put up for a little while, but in longer term I may still find Missing Puzzles in my life. Constantly thinking, WHAT IF! (I suspected those who gave in, had gave up questioning WHAT IF!)
I remembered reading an article about arranged marriage in India. The Westerner thinker always thought arranged marriage is silly because there may not be REAL LOVE. However, the author has a different view, when you put a couple together, they have no choice but they have to focus, rise up and learn to accept each other. Effort being put in then love developed. So it appears some relationship works this way! (Maybe in your friend’s case) It just takes a longer time and of course with some risk associated!
Whichever way you choose out there, Dr Love can only hope that you will remain CONTENT and HAPPY in your life ;-)
HNVN
posted by Kiasu-Ching @ 2:38 PM
9 comments
9 Comments:
Wow.. Doktor.. you are fast in your reply. I am so bored that I am hitting F5 to see if it refreshes. I will put some thoughts into this and comment later.
BTW, what is HNVN? You seemed to like to put this at the end of every article.
MGA, you have a crush on Doktor Cinta ah???
Hahahahahaaaa...
er...
well...
Who knows... it is an option...
He's still available, is he?
Doktor Cinta, a friend referred me to your blog. I have a cinta issue. I met my current boyfriend two months ago. We met during a trip/vacation. After the trip we went out on a few dates. During one of them, in a movie, he grabbed my hand and I allowed it. I guess we are on from there onwards and we have been going steady for the past 2 months. The thing is, doktor cinta, he never once told me he loves (or likes) me. He did not take me back to see his parents nor his friends. He hardly calls but sms me a lot. I know he's a shy person, but after 2 months and no i-love-yous, I get worried. I didn't receive any flowers from him too. Is he for real?
I just wanted to add that he's not stingy type. I have also asked him how come he never bought me any flowers and he said it is so old fashioned. Obviously he has not read your "How to show Affections to a girl?" post! GRRR!
hmmm.. i wonder why doktor cinta dun want to answer whats HNVN and also the crush thingy - no response meh?
hehee
Dear Doktor Cinta,
I have a question for you, I am assuming you're male... hmmm.. and MGA is female :P
Anyhow, I wonder why men can't be loyal people. Why do their hearts change so fast. Why are they so like that. I am a believer of honesty and being loyal to your wife/gf and never ever cheat on them.
But why are men such creatures that they can't resist temptation and always getting themselves into shit like that.
Tea-o
Hello curious one ;-)
Oh well, I would not reveal to my patients whether I am a boy or a girl, young or old. The main reason is because I want to encourage both boys and girls to write. If I tell my patients that I am a boy or a girl, certain people may feel intimidated eh ;-) and think I may not qualify to do so. So you may imagine whoever I am when you write to me, and will try not to give a bias answer :-)
Also, Doctor's job is professional, hence I do not date any of my patients at all ;-P
As for the secret closing code (Doctor's own Da Vincci Code), it's some short name of people I had asked to confirm the content I wrote and the date. You may not see them sometimes, because I may not consult anyone ;-P
You are not a guy??? :'( :'( :'(
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