Let's get Physical!

Anonymous wrote (renamed to Miss Physical) :

Dear Doctor Love,

I have been lurking around your website for some time already but never wanted to participate. I see that you are indeed knowledgable in matters of the heart. You must be a great lover in real life. Your partner must be really lucky.

I have been dating this wonderful man for almost 2 years. We have a lot of things to talk about. Our romance was never boring. Having said that, I do have a nagging doubt.

We have been physically close. We like to hold hands and touch each other. We enjoy the physical closeness. All the hugs and kisses and well.. "exploration", if you know what I mean.

We can't get enough of being close to one another. We like to talk about our body and our pleasures. I think this is perfectly ok as I feel very comfortable and very in love with this man. We are even planning on marriage.

My doubt is that I feel that our relationship is more physical than emotion or less on the soul-mate/best friend level. As a woman, I worry.. what happens if one day, this physical interest and curiosity disappear? We work on different fields. We have different beliefs. We have different interests. The only common thing we have is respect for each other and this physical attraction. Of course, he's really a great guy and I feel I am fortunate to meet someone like him. What if...

Marriage is for life.. and it should not be based on physical attraction alone. And yet.. looking at the way things are going, I do worry about our future.

What are your advice, Doctor?

Dr. Love replied :

Thanks for the compliments Miss Physical. I am also glad there are readers out there who actually enjoy reading my blog ;-)

I am glad that you have found a wonderful guy for yourself. And he's rather physical and I believe a lot of gals out there are going to be envy eh ;-)

Getting physical in a relationship is in fact a healthy thing. Yes, no doubt we will grow old one day, but that does not mean we should stop getting physical as well :-) I think most important is to stay healthy and fit. Don't worry too much about your lover will leave you if you are old and haggard. What is important is we AGED GRACEFULLY with full of CONFIDENCE. Start eating healthy now, do more excercise, and we will naturally becoming YOUNGER! The choice to be fit and pretty is in your hand ;-)

As for your internal needs, you have to analyse if your boyfriend is either Type 1, who is not aware on how to fulfil your emotional needs, or Type 2, he is an emotionless person.

For Type 1, it's much easier to handle. All you need is to train him, tell him when you need support. As long as he is willing to learn and accept your emotions needs, he will be fine. As for Type 2, it's much harder. Usually, it will takes a lot of time and patience. You may lose your patience along your way, but stay true to what you want. Based on my experience, you need to treat him like a professional (or colleague). Talk to him like getting advises from him. He will naturally open up to you. Hopefully, after a period of time, he knows what you need when he gets the hint again :-)

Whatever it is, if your boyfriend truly Love you, even if we grow older, he will still continue to love you. Just make sure you enjoy his companionship and continue to shower each other with love ;-)